I think I am a little more stable now; at least enough to directly talk about this. The last few months have really, without exaggeration, been the hardest ones of my entire life. I honestly had a lot of breaking points where I thought about just stop trying. I really didn't want to be alive anymore, I saw no meaning to anything and I felt such an utter loneliness and sadness everyday that it was honestly toxic for those around me. I always tried to pretend like I was okay, because I didn't want to worry my loved ones; that made everything worse in the end. And I still feel alone, I still feel sad; but I am trying to fix it. I am still dealin